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leninscjay
|CHECK IN ON THE WEEKENDS, THATS WHEN I'LL BE UPDATING.|
 
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New Blog Sorta...

Well, I've been updating in that one recently so.. I dunno mindsays just gotten a littel restricting besides I like how anyone can post in live journal so... YOU HAD ALL BETTER GO THERE AND POST... I'm srry Jannet I didn't mean to make you get a Mindsay account... and then I would leave but I'll still read it.. And I'll read urs Ashley J. If you update!!! lol ttyl

->http://www.livejournal.com/users/leninscjay/<-

^^Other Blog^^

No TALKs - TALK TO ME
 
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SICK!!!
Srry guys, I'm gonna make it short... I have been feeling like crap.... I think I'm gettin better now tho... This sucks, I had plans for this weekend too... oh well... where was my flu vaccine?!? Fucking President Bush... It's all his fault... Blame him... If I ever see him im gonna sock him right in the face I swear... lol ttyl!
 
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Typical Day... Sorta...

    Alright the entire day went good (cept I got written up in 5th period) till the end of the day. Then things got hectic when I went to rifle practice... We were all in the staff room in a meeting with Chief  Perry talking about the drill teams... Amanda was sitting there doing whatever flirting with Dustin when Chief left, I didn't care though... I would't want to go out with somone who has such little regard for other peoples feelings as her. Well any way... Dustin knew that Amanda liked me before and he got jealous... well he knows that she likes him again... so he went up to her and gave her a kiss (not anything like a french kiss) looking right at me. Like some how he was hurting me, yeah right... it just made me pissed because I was waiting to get my damn pen back from Amanda while she was kissing him. I said ehm can I at least have my pen back now... she stoped and went oh yeah... then huged and kissed him again. As he was pulling up he mubled something that was supose to rub it in my face but I didnt hear him. Neither did Amanda but she wasnt supose to. So ne way I was like whatever. I thought she had broken up with her boyfriend... Well... later when we went to the lobby she callled her B/F and some girl picked up. She was so upset and crying that he was cheating on her... I was like whatever look what you were doing earlier. She thought she was so innocent. Anyway we all know she likes Dustin... So shes only going to get hurt when she goes back out with him. He said right infront of me he wants to "tap that shit" I was thinkin yeah... smart thing to do. Well Amanda was crying later and her friend like wouldnt let me talk to her... "It wasnt my business.." sure... shes only my friend... So she didnt say anything I figured they had it covered. I guess I dont know what I'm talking about when it comes to helping people out... Ive only done it for her over 10 times these last couple of months ne way... sure I dont know her personally... W/E... so... yea.. blah to her.. Sorry I couldnt warn you again about him... but you dont belive me anyway cause hes better than all the other guys. Sure none of them are different. Even I know that and I am one... I mean.. I would never do any of that to any girl but yet she wants to listen to everyone else and not me. I cant be there for her like iI promised if she doesnt want me to be there... lol well later... I need to start the revolution.. so later.. yeah.. i just thought of that today...

 
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JACKASSES!!!
Now I'm not one to be talking because this is going to make people think that I'm gay or something. But it pisses me off. Most other guys are complete jackasses and ruin it for people like me. They take away all of the girls trust. You can't have a successful relationship without trust. But you know... Some how the girls manage to fall in love with those guys and get hurt over and over while I stand all alone out in the rain just waiting with an open heart. I end up standing there for my entire life time. Doing it over and over, everytime. Some people actually understand and do know that you want to just be like everyone else and not care about any one when you have had your heart broken time and time again. See nothing changes and no one cares that all this pain and hurt is going to change me. You have no idea how hard I work to keep the same head on my shoulders that I've had for my entire life. I know that I have changed, I can't help it. But yet people still do it all the time. I'm always so nice to them and they dont care one but about me. I love so many people and would take a bullet for just about every single person in the world. I always value other poeples lives over mine. So why are there some people that constantly just try to bring me down, try to make my life hell. My next door neigbor knows she is hurting me all the time. And she still does it, it's not fair... I'm always trying to be nice to her. There are so many times when she makes me want to just break down and give up on life all together. What comes around doesn't go around... I've always strivd to be better... But yet I'm always shit on. I never want to see any girl cry, I'm always there to help. No matter what has happend between us, and just the fact that no one even cares... I unno. But I'm not going to give up or feel sorry for myself... I'm just going to keep on going being nice. I guess thats what my purpose God put me on this Earth for. To be nice but take all the shit people can't handle. In my own way be a sacrafice... And if thats the case then I'm not going to fail. It's just I guess it's not my place to have a girlfriend or have things go the way they want. At least I have plenty of friends who are there for me untill the end. I just need to be carefull because some betray me. Just that one girl... I can't make her fall for me... I'm not giving up though. Never give up....
No TALKs - TALK TO ME
 
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